Siblings!

I have tried harder these last few years to be friendly with my sister and give up my ego in some places.. but i dont see any result that i want. she just acts more distant and even forgets normal niceties with me. she dosent enquire if we have had a good time when we travel anywhere, dosent bother to check on us once in a while. I feel hurt.., but also difficulty in connecting with consistency in her world. i take some steps and if i dont get what i want, i fall back. how can i de-enlist her importance in my world so that i dont feel any more pain. she is self centred and egoistic and whatever efforts i have taken to be largehearted have all come to naught. she cant even respond to a 'we miss you' comment on facebook. how cold must the girl be!

School - nostalgia

Am now 33 years old and completely out of touch with school. But it creeps back insidiously. Am just a by-stander watching the old gang bonding on facebook with niceties and hearty echanges as though time had never passed. I feel steadfastly ignored even as i send feelers to old classmates. Sigh! is there no acceptance even after 17 years for creeps who just didnt know how to fit in and made the fatal error of deviating from tried and trusted paths.
there are still people out there who are treated like gods-with respect and awe and i just clutch my heart in pain and envy - oh to be so there! can i go to school once more in my lifetime - just to undo everything i did and recreate a new past.